You’ve got a night free. You’re alone. You can’t afford peanuts. No, really, peanuts are about two quid and that’s just not happening. Do you ever hear children moaning about boredom when finding themselves in similar situations? Do children get pissed off because they have no money for a pint of lager? No, they PLAY. Obviously watching films, reading books and getting down with your Xbox aren’t featured because that doesn’t require any kind of active playing. We’re talking hardcore adult recreation here. No, not that sort. Continue reading
The tube is too expensive. Buses are the same price except with more oddballs. A taxi is the last seizure-inducingly extortionate vestige of the very wealthy or the very intoxicated. Walking is the unsung alternative. Continue reading
Alcatel saw a gap in the market for those unable to afford, or be trusted with, posh phones and dived headfirst like an excited child roaming a landscape where crevasses are commonplace. The Antarctic, for instance. Continue reading
Most landlords in London are intent only on the destruction of others. In the words of Beyonce: “If I were a landlord/ I think I could understand/ How it feels to love one’s tenants/ I swear I’d be a better landlord.”
This song is often misinterpreted as a lament about men being rubbish in relationships when it is, in fact, predominantly about housing agreements. Continue reading
It’s philosophical as opposed to practical. Why? Because the art of living in London when you can’t afford to pay rent is as much psychological as it is physical. [music kicks in] Continue reading
Yes, it’s a prevalent part time profession (alliteration) but there are some preventable pitfalls (more alliteration, at the expense of the sentence) for prospective professionals looking to potentially permeate this sector, if not perennially. Properly, parochially, and, you know, Paul Daniels. Anyway, wordsmithery aside, here are some tips: Continue reading
Due to my MA coming to a head, and being told to stop pissing about and cultivate a “more niche, serious blog” for an online module, Cosmoretto is taking some downtime right now.
I have to concentrate on a more serious and journalistic venture until the end of next month. It might still interest you though, so have a look. Comment, subscribe and check back (i get marked on all of these things…)
Thanks for reading Cosmoretto. BACK SOON.